Fast and Slow

Do you ever get the distinct impression that you’re being taught a lesson?  That something is being whispered to you and it enters your consciousness, and suddenly it’s everywhere in your life? I have this feeling now, and the lesson is about slowing down.

I have to take care to not let each day become a race to bedtime. A race to morning snack. A race to “Are you all buckled up?” A race to hair washed and lotion applied and clean pj’s on.

There is pressure every day to be where we need to be, clean what we need to clean, make the phone calls, plan the meals, check over the homework. Pressure even for me time, for us time.

As a social worker I learned to assess where people I encountered were given the context of their lives. In other words, how did their family and background, socioeconomic status, housing stability, HIV status, etc. work together to make them who they were as they stood in front of me?

As a new mom I learned that it was also helpful to approach my children with an understanding of where they were developmentally.

In both these situations, as a clinician and a parent, the question became: Do I see you as you are, or do I see you as I want you to be?

With my children, I am guilty of not seeing them as they are in one important area: pace.There is a slowness to children, a lack of urgency. Their curiosity tells them to stray from the sidewalk and pick up sticks. Throw rocks in the creek. Instead of accepting that this is essential to their development, I hurry them along and herd them in whichever direction I’m moving.

Time to get your coats on. Tie those shoes. Hurry up!

The lesson I’m working on is to stop expecting my children to move at my pace. To see their curiosity and endless questions and rocks ready to be thrown into creeks through their eyes. They are full of wonder, and they are wonderful.



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Comments

  1. TexaGermaNadian says:

    Yes, so perfectly put. I feel that we are always being taught a lesson or two. Really enjoyed the post. Stopped over from Pass the Puck, hope you have a great weekend!
    http://texagermanadian.blogspot.com/

  2. Heather says:

    I need to hear that all the time! I'm so bad about rushing my kids, and for what? Thanks for the great reminder that so many parents need to hear in this society of hurry, hurry, hurry. Reminds me of the Bible verse, "Be still and know that I am God." :)

    Heather
    http://www.realhousewifega.com
    http://www.thegiftcloset.blogspot.com

  3. Hyacynth says:

    Oh. I cannot tell you how much I struggle with this. Though, admittedly, now that we've really started slowing down with activities, I feel so much less rushed even when we do have to get somewhere. Great lesson.

  4. Simple Life Journey says:

    Slowing down has become my life's goal, and I have made big changes to start anew and change old habits. Love your post. And I totally agree with you.

    Janna
    http://www.simplelifejourney.com

  5. Wow! I am so guilty of hurrying everyone in my house…all the time. I definitely need to slow down and let my kids just be kids. Thanks for reminding me that they grow up far too fast to rush the process.

  6. It is so sad that I go to yoga to live in the moment, but can’t seem to do it at all in my own home. Sure, during certain pure times, I do, but most of the time I am hurtling from thing to thing. I hate it, but some of it is because children do need a schedule. My little guy takes up to three hours to get outside, and then once outside, laments the fact that he has to go inside to eat and nap, things that, if delayed too much cause a meltdown. This issue is one more thing that as a mother we strive to balance, but more often than not feel guilty and regretful about.

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